Friday, 29 March 2013

Mr Pretentious

Every so often some comedy gold turns up in the reviews section of Amazon, like the wine-tasting style reviews that you find under various brands of Methylated Spirits:

'The swally of choice for the most discerning of pallets is now available in bargain bucket style five litre flaggon. Gossamer of the Gods, with a purple tinge so alluring, one glance would make the artist formerly known as Prince artex the gusset of his silken dung hampers. With the addition of this new bulk pack, catering for all of the family's Barrettine needs is a sinch. I keep a couple of the old faithful 250ml bottles that I can now re-fill from this reservior of happiness and pop into the bairn's school lunch boxes every morning, whilst a recycled CapriSun pouch can be secreted inside of one's lollypop man's uniform with ease.'

'As with many things in the culinary world, public opinion of meths has been overly influenced by meth snobs, who will tell the less confident newcomers to this area, that unless it's Rustins or Barrettines, it's not worth drinking. But do not listen to them! Whilst undoubtedly the aforementioned companies have paved the way with their classic blends, the market is now larger, with many new companies (including this plucky up-and-comer from Poland) creating some perfectly acceptable, and on occasion spectacular, tipples. This particular vintage is the latter; it's heady bouquet is reflected with an initial wash of industrial cleaner flavours, with dark berry overtones, which then gives way to a refreshingly light and crisp citrus finish. Innovative barreling techniques have allowed Favorit to create this smashing concoction, which is tipped as an early favourite for my drink of the year (and at a recession beating £3.95 a litre. If you intend to match with food, then you will need to choose something that lives up the the complexity of its flavours, such as week old floor kebab, or half eaten rain-marinated bin wotsits, though I think it is best enjoyed on its own, so as not to take anything away from what is truly a magnificent liquor.'

But my new favourites are the pseudo-intellectual litarary reviews of the late Roger Hargreaves' Mr Men books by one 'Hamilton Richardson'. Wonderful stuff.

Get yourself over there and just search on any of the Mr Men books that you remember. You won't be disappointed.

Found by The Poke.

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