Friday, 15 March 2013

Ordos - Ghost City

In Inner Mongolia, in a district called Kangbashi, stands a city called Ordos. It features innovative architecture, and enough homes for a million people. And it is largely uninhabited.
 

 
 
Intended to have 300,000 residents by 2010, government figures stated it has had, at best, around 28,000. The streets are deserted.
 
 
 
 
The Kangbashi district is filled with office towers, administrative centres, government buildings, museums, theatres and sports fields - not to mention acre upon acre of middle-class apartment blocks and bungalows. A huge statue of Genghis Khan presides over Genghis Khan Plaza. Two giant horses stand there too, dwarfing him. The square is vast, flanked by huge and imposing buildings.
 
 
If you want to find a place where China's huge housing bubble has already burst, then Ordos is the place to come. The story started about 20 years ago, with the beginning of a great Mongolian coal rush. Private mining companies poured into the green Inner Mongolian steppe lands, pock-marking the landscape with enormous opencast holes in the ground, or tunnelling underground. Local farmers sold their land to the miners, and became instantly rich. Jobs burgeoned. Ceaseless coal truck convoys tore up the roads. And the old city of Ordos flourished as the money flowed in.
The municipality decided to think big, too. It laid out plans for a huge new town for hundreds of thousands of residents with Genghis Khan Plaza at the centre of it. But no one came.

The place is so empty most of the time that some urban skateboarders decided that it looked like the perfect place for an adventure. Here's their story:


Tuesday, 12 March 2013

The steadfast Edith Macefield

Here's a heartwarming story of the little guy - or, more precisely, gal - who wouldn't give in to the big corporations.

In 2006, Edith Macefield (1921-2008) achieved turned down a million dollars to sell her home in Seattle so that a new development could be built. In doing so, she became something of a folk hero and the publicity surrounding her case was so widespread that, inevitably, the five-storey building project had to be built around her 108-year-old farmhouse.


People who knew her explained that she didn't move for three main reasons: First of all she'd lived there for more than 40 years and had some great memories; secondly, she didn't want to have to move all her stuff; and, thirdly, she got to like the developers.

Barry Martin, the new building's construction superintendent, said, 'I've said, 'you know, if you need anything don't hesitate to call' and she doesn't. 'So I take the garbage out. I make her lunch.' His crew got to know her well and regularly drove her to the shops and to her podiatrist appointments, as well as checking on her regularly.


Macefield willed her house to Martin, in gratitude for the friendship he had shown her during the construction. On May 26, 2009, Disney publicists attached balloons to the roof of Macefield's house, as a promotional tie-in to their film Up, in which an aging widower's home is similarly surrounded by looming development.

Monday, 11 March 2013

The Policeman - A Guide

Glorious spoofery. I have no idea who put this together  but I APPLAUD them roundly:





























You can see all of the original illustrations from the Penguin/Ladybird book The Policeman here.

Friday, 8 March 2013

Thursday, 7 March 2013

Secret Museum

This evening I was invited to the official launch at Daunt Books, Holland Park, of my QI colleague and chum Molly Oldfield's new book The Secret Museum.




It was a great party and all of my QI colleagues were there plus many of Molly's friends and family.

Mmmm. Cupcakes.

War of the Material Worlds

In his extraordinary book on advertising, Creative Mischief, Dave Trott talks about the art of 'conflation' i.e. 'to fuse or bring together separate elements'.

"Conflation is another word for creativity", he says, "Putting things together, causing you to think about them in a new way. Isn't this a gorilla playing the drums? Or a car made out of cake? Or evolution going backwards? Or waves morphing into white horses?"

Creativity is all about taking risks, trying something new, pushing square pegs into round holes and creating a whole that is greater than the sum of its parts.There are many TV and radio shows that, on paper, look like they should have been non-starters. Imagine these pitches:

'It's a sitcom set on a spaceship millions of light years from Earth. It stars an impressionist from Spitting Image,  a performance poet who was once Terry Wogan's sidekick, an unknown dancer from West End shows and a dour, relatively obscure stand-up comedian who will only appear in the show as a head. Later on we'll introduce a novelist in a rubber robot mask.'

'It's a show all about ballroom dancing hosted by a man in his eighties. We'll put it on prime time TV on a Saturday evening up against things like I'm a celebrity, get me out of here and X Factor.'

'It's a drama series about a chap who flies around in space and time (mostly) doing good. The entire cast changes on a regular basis, including the lead. Oh, and the spaceship is a police box of the kind kids won't recognise as they were phased out in the 1970s.'

'It's a sketch show but the sketches don't have punchlines and many are quite surreal. They'll be written and performed by some Oxbridge post-graduates (modern history, English, medicine and law) with little or no performing experience, and an American animator with a fascination for Victoriana and the Baroque.'

It's probably true that if Red Dwarf, Strictly Come Dancing, Doctor Who or Monty Python's Flying Circus were pitched to most TV companies today, they wouldn't be commissioned. Isn't that a terrible thought? The sad fact is that the men and women in suits who make the commissioning decisions these days seem to be overwhelmingly people with lots of qualifications, no experience of making shows and a complete aversion to risk. They also seem to have some kind of algorithm or checklist to follow in order to decide what works and what doesn't. However, the greatest innovations come from breaking the rules. Dave Trott again:

"Why doesn't most advertising work? Because it's 'right'. It's been debated, discussed, argued, briefed, researched, debriefed, rebriefed, until it's 'right'. And that's the problem: it's 'right'. It's not interesting. It's not interesting so no one notices it. No one notices it so no one remembers it. No one remembers it, so it doesn't work, no matter how 'right' it is."

Red Dwarf shouldn't have worked by any checklist you care to tick. It didn't have anyone famous in it. Most of the cast weren't jobbing actors and two weren't really comedians. And the pitiful BBC effects budget meant that it would look rubbish when set against the standards of US imports like Battlestar Galactica or Star Trek or Hollywood franchises like Star Wars. But it worked. And it ran for several series before it was cancelled. But, by then, it had built a legion of fans and was recently resurrected on satellite channel Dave with huge success. Another series has been commissioned.

My boss is a chap called John Lloyd. You might have heard of him although he's famous for what he does behind the scenes, rather than in front of them. John is a producer and writer. He created Not the Nine O Clock News and Spitting Image. He produced every episode of Blackadder. He co-wrote the book The Meaning of Liff with Douglas Adams and co-wrote two episodes of the original radio series of The Hitchikers Guide to the Galaxy. He created QI. He co-wrote The Book of General Ignorance (with John Mitchinson), which has sold over a million copies. He's also a hugely successful commercials director and has won a good clutch of BAFTAs and other awards. Lloydy has a kind of Midas touch - everything he gets involved in turns to gold. He is nothing if not consistent. And yet, as he says in an episode of Car Pool (hosted, coincidentally by Red Dwarf's Robert Llewellyn), "I haven't managed to sell a TV show since QI and that was 2002. Which seems ludicrous. I've pitched ideas that people told me would never work. And then later someone has done something similar, quite independently and on a smaller scale, and it's been a huge success and then TV picks it up." Interestingly, Car Pool was also turned down by TV companies - despite it being endlessly fascinating and featuring every celebrity you can think of as guests - so Robert has posted it online.

There was a time when I would never have considered pitching ideas to anyone but the BBC. They were the brave ones. They took risks. They created stars. They had the safety net of knowing that the licence fee was there and guaranteed. It meant that the BBC could afford to take risks - all four of the shows I mentioned above were made by the BBC. And part of that risk included taking someone who none of us had ever heard of and saying 'watch this guy/gal - they're brilliant!'. And, in no time at all, people like Arthur Negus, Valerie Singleton, Rowan Atkinson, Dr David Bellamy, Tony Hart, James Burke, Tom Baker, Pam Ayres, Kenny Everett, Sir Patrick Moore, John Cleese, Delia Smith and so many others were suddenly household names. They weren't chosen to appear in shows because they were famous or popular. They were chosen because they were different and interesting.

Compare that to today. There seems to be a belief that we are all celebrity-obsessed - but I suggest that, actually, we're really not. The celeb-lovers are not a majority. Yes, I'll see a few people on a train reading OK or Heat magazine or The Sun newspaper. But I'll see just as many, and probably more, reading books or specialist magazines, listening to music or audiobooks, watching films on their tablets or playing games. Not all of us are interested in who's shagging who, or who's divorcing who because they were shagging someone they shouldn't have been shagging. In the same vein, I don't care who the person presenting a show on deep sea fish or the origins of the universe is, as long as they are interesting and authoritative. Looks and age shouldn't be a factor. I like Professor Brian Cox, he's a genuinely nice man and very, very smart. But I don't necessarily want to see him on every science show, especially those covering subjects outside of his areas of expertise. On the other turn of the coin, if I want to learn something about African wildlife, I'd prefer not to be taught by a heavily-scripted celebrity like Richard Hammond or Ewan MacGregor. I don't see Sir David Attenborough starring as a Jedi or reviewing the latest Ferrari, after all. The right person for the right job. It's not rocket science, it really isn't.

I hear today that the marvellous Quentin Cooper is being dropped from BBC Radio 4's Material World show as part of a 'refresh'. Is that really necessary? Radio 4 is hardly a huge money maker is it? And I can't believe that the show is that impactful on the licence fee. Is the show really so broken that it needs fixing? Cooper is a joy to listen to. He is exactly the right person for that show. I'd argue that he IS Material World. His clipped, nasal tones are as much a part of the fabric of the show as Nicholas Parsons' dithering is on Just a Minute. He also knows what he's talking about and puts hugely complex scientific ideas across in an understandable, 'man-on-the-Clapham-omnibus' way. So what's behind this ridiculous decision to sack him?

I can only assume that some BBC media studies post-grad has pumped the data into their iPad, run the algorithm, ticked the boxes and decided that a smart, balding chap in specs who knows his onions doesn't fit the bill. Too risky. Not famous enough. The fact that Cooper has successfully presented the show since 1999 presumably isn't a factor. Nor, I assume is the fact that the Radio Times described Material World as 'the most accessible, funny and conversational science programme on radio' or that Bill Bryson said that it is 'quite the best thing on radio'. Oh, and in the 2011 BBC Trust review of impartiality and accuracy of the BBC’s coverage of science it was singled out for 'particular praise'.

Pft. What a load of rubbish that show must be! Obviously, it needs a 'refresh'.

If this was being done in a spirit of innovation, I might welcome it. If this was being done to raise revenues in order to increase the number of science-based TV and radio shows, I might applaud it. But I think we all know that it's probably some new broom trying to make their mark on the world of media in the clumsiest and most cliche fashion possible. What we'll end up with is something that is no longer Material World. And our world will be poorer for it.

I, for one, have written to the BBC to vent my spleen at the decision.

Tuesday, 5 March 2013

The Walk to Work

I'm trying to shed some weight at the moment so I'm walking a lot of the routes that I would normally do by Tube train or cab. One such is the trip into QI HQ in Covent Garden every Monday for the weekly K series production and script meeting. It occurred to me today that it's quite an interesting walk so I thought I'd share today's with you.

It starts off with a cab to High Wycombe train station some four miles away and then a 40 minute journey into London Marylebone. Then there's a three mile walk that takes around 45 minutes. Today the sun was shining, I had some wonderful Lord Peter Wimsey audio drama to listen to (The Five Red Herrings starring the late Ian Carmichael) on my iPod, a bottle of water and some good shoes. All was right with the world.
 
The route I chose was the A40/A501 Marylebone Road, then right into Luxborough Street and then a cut through Paddington Square Gardens and out onto Moxon Street (where two of my very favourite foodie shops are: Ginger Pig rare breeds butchers and La Fromagerie. Mmmm ... wild boar sausages and aromatic cheeses ....



I then crossed over Marylebone High Street into New Cavendish Street, then into Portland Place and past the BBC. We're all quite familiar with the classic creamy stone facade of Broadcasting House but maybe you haven't seen the new building beside it? Quite spectacular. We record the Museum of Curiosity there in the BBC Radio Theatre.


I then turned left onto Oxford Street and eventually turned right into Dean Street and Soho. Crossing over Shaftesbury Avenue, I cut through Gerrard Place and Newport Court on the edge of Chinatown. The New Year decorations are still up.




I then crossed over Charing Cross Road and into Great Newport Street for the final leg of my journey. A quick stroll along Garrick Street and Bedford Street and I was there.

And next Monday I'll do it all again, although I may vary the route. There's no better way to get to know London than on Shanks' Pony.

The 22 Golden Rules of Good Story Telling

I'm writing a novel at the moment so I'm always on the lookout for good advice.

It's probably fair to say that Pixar know a thing or two about how to tell a good story. Their movies speak for themselves. Well, for all you budding screenwriters out there, here are Pixar's 22 Golden Rules for storytelling as compiled by one of their former storyboard artists - now writer and director - Emma Coats (she's on Twitter as @lawnrocket).

1: You admire a character for trying more than for their successes.
2: You gotta keep in mind what's interesting to you as an audience, not what's fun to do as a writer. They can be very different.
3: Trying for theme is important, but you won't see what the story is actually about 'til you're at the end of it. Now rewrite.
4: Once upon a time there was ___. Every day, ___. One day ___. Because of that, ___. Because of that, ___. Until finally ___.
5: Simplify. Focus. Combine characters. Hop over detours. You'll feel like you're losing valuable stuff but it sets you free.
6: What is your character good at, comfortable with? Throw the polar opposite at them. Challenge them. How do they deal?
7: Come up with your ending before you figure out your middle. Seriously. Endings are hard, get yours working up front.
8: Finish your story, let go even if it's not perfect. In an ideal world you have both, but move on. Do better next time.
9: When you're stuck, make a list of what WOULDN'T happen next. Lots of times the material to get you unstuck will show up.
10: Pull apart the stories you like. What you like in them is a part of you; you've got to recognize it before you can use it.
11: Putting it on paper lets you start fixing it. If it stays in your head, a perfect idea, you'll never share it with anyone.
12: Discount the 1st thing that comes to mind. And the 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th – get the obvious out of the way. Surprise yourself.
13: Give your characters opinions. Passive/malleable might seem likable to you as you write, but it's poison to the audience.
14: Why must you tell THIS story? What's the belief burning within you that your story feeds off of? That's the heart of it.
15: If you were your character, in this situation, how would you feel? Honesty lends credibility to unbelievable situations.
16: What are the stakes? Give us reason to root for the character. What happens if they don't succeed? Stack the odds against.
17: No work is ever wasted. If it's not working, let go and move on - it'll come back around to be useful later.
18: You have to know yourself: the difference between doing your best & fussing. Story is testing, not refining.
19: Coincidences to get characters into trouble are great; coincidences to get them out of it are cheating.
20: Exercise: take the building blocks of a movie you dislike. How d'you rearrange them into what you DO like?
21: You gotta identify with your situation/characters, can't just write ‘cool'. What would make YOU act that way?
22: What's the essence of your story? Most economical telling of it? If you know that, you can build out from there.

Via The Pixar Touch Blog

Saturday, 2 March 2013

Friday Caption Competition - Results!

Here we go ... my faves in bold. Commended in standard type.

 
Both: 'Okay, that fart smells of bananas. Was it you?' - @gigerpunk
 
'Are you thinking what I'm thinking? - Anonymous 
 
Both: 'I'm watching you ...' - @geekychappy
 
 
Humphrey the camel always got carried away when playing the "Got your nose" game. - @geekychappy

'I don't know why people are always raving about 'head'.' - @twistedtulip
 
'I don't remember eating that' - @pstni
 
'Ooh, what does it taste of? Chicken?'
'No. Horse, oddly enough'. - @gigerpunk


 
Flying Squad - The Early Years - @mrboffly

Excitement in London today as MET-eors land in the Thames - Andy Kerr

'Sarge! Someone's nicked our boat!' - @stevehills
 
Inspector Gadget Auditions: Down to Final Three. - @gigerpunk

Three get promoted into the River Police - @Geekychappy


Friday, 1 March 2013

Friday Caption Competition

I've collected so many brilliant images off t'internet over the years that I've decided we ought to have an occasional caption competition. So, every so often, I'll post three pics. You come up with the captions (I'll have a go too). The winner wins nothing but glory. You up for it? Oh good.





Leave your captions as comments, or tweet me at @stevyncolgan or email me at stevyncolgan@me.com